Tianna Antoine is a creative writer and entrepreneur who is the owner of KurlKulture246. She is also the author of the Marble and Jam Children’s Series. In addition, she provides services in resume writing, tutoring, and professional editing. This essay is about her journey to self-love and acceptance. She begins by describing her childhood experiences of being bullied and feeling like she is not beautiful. She then goes on to describe how she came to accept herself and her own beauty. Take a look at her piece below A Letter to the Waiter
A letter to the waiter
“Coffee, sugar or cream?” That was the question eleven-year-old Egypt asked herself as
she gazed at her reflection in the mirror, tears flowing from her eyes. She had a problem. The
problem of being “black”. As she continued to glance at herself, she wondered what could be
done to suppress what she considered to be the sigma against her exuberant chocolate colour.
Egypt was raised in a household both with a mother and a father with two distinct complexions,
light and dark skinned respectively, whom to her surprise had a great grandmother of white decent.
As a couple years went by things turned “sour” and at the age of three Egypt’s parents settled for divorce. To this present day, Egypt struggles with her acceptance of self-beauty and continues to question the worth of her skin. At the age of eleven, she vigorously watched her mother’s daily facial routines and even practiced them unknown to her on a few occasions. To a sad realisation, she was still unhappy as she saw no balance of coffee, sugar, or cream. Ladies and gentlemen, I implore you to relax, free your mind and wipe the dirt from your eyes because this journey will be quite a ride.
That was the story of little Egypt born on the 13th of January 1997. Little Egypt is me.
How do you identify your beauty? According to philosopher Edmund Burke beauty is for
the greatest part “some quality in bodied, acting mechanically upon human mind by the
intervention of these senses”. So, who determines and influences your physically beauty? Is it
your family, society, peers, the conductor in the Ivy van who whispers in your ear “Brown skin,
reds, you real sweet yuh”, or the passer by who drops the occasional comment, “You pretty for a
dark skin girl yuh know”? Studies have shown that many people change their physical perceptions of beauty daily based on what they hear and see on social media, whether it may be through celebrity advertisements on television, magazines, and billboards. I too fell for this trap. I became envious of the astonishing structures and the champagne complexions of the models who were doing campaign advertisements for Maybelline and Avon.
I sat and wondered what they have that I did not. Was it long hair, prefect teeth, pretty eyes? Or the simple fact that they did not have a hideous “Freundel” nose like I did. The answer was no. I lacked self-confidence. I was still stuck in an imprisoned mental cell of emptiness. Do you know what it is like to be surrounded by all your friends saying new trend words and phrases like “slay, on fleek or cheese on bread my face beat yuh “and you cannot wake up one morning and see your face “not information”. This was depressing and thus made my mind wander into the stars even more. I needed to more research about why and how I was this way.
Upon my discovery, according to plastic surgeon Dr. Bryan Mendelson, people change
their physical beauty and I quote “not to impress others, but simply to impress themselves”.
Mendelson also argues that in his field, individuals get surgery to enhance their self-esteem and
therefore the implementations of this, acts as a secured confidence booster. But as the saying goes about the “Kylie Jenner and Kim Kardashian” meme “We aren’t ugly, we are just poor”. Other studies have shown that attractive children are more popular both with classmates and teachers. Inaddition, attractive applicants have a better chance of getting jobs and receiving higher wages and salaries.
In the United States, it is presumed that in the legal system, members “award” detained law offenders’ lesser severe sentences based on their attractiveness. An experiment also demonstrates that individuals react more favorably to physically attractive people. In applying the works of Tupac Shakur regarding today’s society, my question to you is, “Does the blacker the berry, really produce a sweeter juice?” At the age of 18, I quickly realised the need for accepting myself and what I truly was meant to be. A beautiful intelligent individual. I realised that no number of haircuts, straighteners, soaps or creams can determine who I was destined to be in society. So, ladies and gentlemen as I conclude, I implore you to realize the beauty within your skin, turn every negative thought or comment into a positive altitude and live with utmost happiness and pride. Now I know the answer to my question eight years ago. Just like a waiter asking the additional contents you would like in your tea. I like it black, no sugar or cream please.
